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ANTHONY SATELL

HOT

I am a dynamic figure often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I build large suspension bridges in my yard. On Wednesdays after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I manage my time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for three days on a row. I sleep only once a week, when I do sleep I sleep in a chair.

Once while in the Amazon basin, I saved a small village from a ferocious horde of army ants using only a hoe and a small glass of water. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. I once discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy eveningwear. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Moby Dick, Pillars of the Earth and Paradise Lost in one day and had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.

On weekends, to blow off steam I participate in full contact origami. I don't perspire. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I dodge, I weave, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, performed open-heart surgery, and spoken with Elvis. All this but I have yet to understand women.

Date of Birth: 10-6-77
Release Date: 3-2-2012

Anthony Satell

1115 S.E. Jackson St.

Albany, OR. 97322

Anthony Satell #10827307
4005 Aumsville Hwy SE
Salem, OR. 97317 USA